Hi, I have had HSV2 (and I assume HSV1 because of a cold sore) for a number of years. I take Acyclovir daily and have no outbreaks while on it. I was testing the waters recently and went off the medication for about a year to see what would happen. I did eventually have an outbreak that was much different than I was expecting. The original outbreak(s) were always in one place, at the top, up by the collar. This time, it came out at the base (same side) and in 10 small blisters in an area about the size of a quarter. My Doctor said it was a systemic outbreak and that it could happen in other areas.

1. Can you explain what happened? Why in a new area and why so much?

2. Will the next outbreak be in the same place?

3. Should I assume that it will take the same amount of time to reoccur if I stopped medication?

4. Is systemic the right term for an outbreak in a random area? Should I expect this type of outbreak in the future?

5. I was under the impression that the area of a known outbreak would be where I contracted and was contagious from and that other areas away from it would not be contagious. Is that true or false?

6. If #5 is true, was the area of the new outbreak always a contagious?

7. Should I assume that outbreaks and transmission can occur in any area?



I am also curious about dating girls through HSV dating sites.


8. What are the risks of sexual encounters with a girl with HVS1 & 2? Can it make my situation worse? Can I be infected in another area and will I potentially have breakouts in new areas?

9. If I perform oral on a girl with HVS2 and I have HSV2 but not HSV1, what risks do I face?

10. Does Acyclovir have the same effect on females as it does on males?

11. How do I pick a reputable HSV online dating service in the San Francisco area? I saw these in one post. anatopia /Mpwh, positivesingles, and purpledoorpersonals. I'm kind of scared to complicate my life further.

12. What are my risks in becoming sexually active in a HSV online dating world?



Sorry for all the questions, I think these answers may help me get on with life. Oh, and how ironic was it that right after finding this site, the next thing I watched was the Herpes episode of The Office? Geez! Funny, but a hard 30 mins to get through.


Thanks for your help.

1. Can you explain what happened? Why in a new area and why so much?
This isn't unusual at all actually. it's not that the virus went "systemic" either. it's typical to get ob's in new locations. honestly from your description though I'm wondering if it was even herpes going on and not something else. how were you originally diagnosed as having genital herpes? what testing did you have done?

2. Will the next outbreak be in the same place?
only time will tell

3. Should I assume that it will take the same amount of time to reoccur if I stopped medication?
no. there really isn't any rhyme or reason to when ob's will occur most of the time. some folks do have known triggers for recurrences but you shed the virus about the same amount regardless of if you are having frequent recurrences or not

4. Is systemic the right term for an outbreak in a random area? Should I expect this type of outbreak in the future?
already covered this in the 1st question

5. I was under the impression that the area of a known outbreak would be where I contracted and was contagious from and that other areas away from it would not be contagious. Is that true or false?
not true at all. you can have ob's anywhere in the entire boxer short area as we call it. ob locations can change over time. when you have an actual lesion, you are shedding the virus from the lesion as well as from the entire anogenital area too. in between obvious lesions, you shed periodically from the anogenital area too.

6. If #5 is true, was the area of the new outbreak always a contagious?
not always contagious. on average the virus is active about 15% of days ( 15 days out of every 100 , not consecutive though )

7. Should I assume that outbreaks and transmission can occur in any area?
the softer anal and genital skin allows the virus to get to the surface to shed. the "thicker" skin like the thighs and buttocks and such only shed the virus during obvious lesions.



I am also curious about dating girls through HSV dating sites.


8. What are the risks of sexual encounters with a girl with HVS1 & 2? Can it make my situation worse? Can I be infected in another area and will I potentially have breakouts in new areas?
not an issue. you don't make your infection "worse" and you won't "ping pong" the virus back and forth. you aren't likely to contract the virus on other body parts either at this point.

9. If I perform oral on a girl with HVS2 and I have HSV2 but not HSV1, what risks do I face?
we recommend not performing oral on active genital lesions - for her protection and for yours. otherwise it's highly unlikely that you'd contract hsv2 orally at this point.

10. Does Acyclovir have the same effect on females as it does on males?
yes it does

11. How do I pick a reputable HSV online dating service in the San Francisco area? I saw these in one post. anatopia /Mpwh, positivesingles, and purpledoorpersonals. I'm kind of scared to complicate my life further.
you have the same issues on herpes dating sites as non-herpes dating sites. they aren't always updated frequently and you can't always find folks you are compatible with in your area. usually the herpes dating sites also offer message boards but I've found a lot of them to be full of inaccurate information, anger and gloom/doom posts. As far as just dating through them though, pretty typical of regular dating sites just everyone there knows that they have herpes.

12. What are my risks in becoming sexually active in a HSV online dating world?
I'm not sure what you mean by this question? your risks are the same as dating face to face or on other online dating sites. always remember that it's far more than just your herpes you know you have - many other std's out there.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

1. I'm not sure what type of testing, I think it was a blood test. They just said you have HSV2, no documentation or anything. This latest ob showed tiny water blisters and was visually diagnosed by my doctor. It seemed to heal like the other ob and the marks are taking a long time to go away.

4. I am questioning my doctors knowledge of the disease. He seemed pretty confident when he said it was a systemic ob. I just haven't found any info that backs up that statement. This concerns me because I need to know what's going on with me. Can you suggest a good resource in SF to get a new doctor? I need to get one closer to me anyway.

12. I guess I'm just trying to cover all bases with that last question. This has been pretty hard to deal with and I want to make sure I haven't over looked anything.

Thanks for your help and quick response

if you can get your herpes blood test results to post here, I can better help you with them to make sure you had proper testing. all I need to see are the actual numeric results - eg hsv1 igg 3.2 and hsv2 igg 2.3 or whatever they are. that way we can make sure you were properly diagnosed originally.

if your herpes was systemic, that would mean throughout your body. That rarely happens with recurrences and it isn't the reason why your ob is in a different place than previously. when you were infected with hsv2, it infected your entire sacral nerve ganglia. when it reactivates, it can go down any part of that nerve ganglia and cause obvious lesions. you can have ob's on your buttocks or thighs even and all it means is that the virus has reactivated. it's completely normal for the virus to act that way.

I'd check for a local online herpes social or support group in your area and see if they can recommend a provider closer to you. asha doesn't keep lists and I'm not aware of anyone in particular out there. terrific providers in your area though who should be very familiar with herpes.

betsy

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ASHA Moderator

Thank you.

I know this thread is nearly two months old but I just had to comment on the Herpes Dating Site questions.

I've had HSV2 for nearly 20 years and have experimented a lot with the HSV or STD online dating sites.

I think that the Betsy explained things pretty good...both regular and "HSV" specific sites have the same issues as far as finding enough people on them in your location. Since SF is very populated I'll assume that "specific" sites are quite active with many memebers. Outlaying and rural areas most likely do not offer many choices.

I have a completely different opinion on HSV specific online dating sites based on a single question that you should ask yourself before choosing to buy a membership.

Why am I interested in joining a HSV online dating site?

From my personal experience, I have found that the "majority" of people who join do so because they have not fully accepted HSV as a lifelong part of themselves and are only members of the site because they are afraid of being rejected. I have even met and dated medical professionals who were insecure about having herpes. Not everybody has this fear of rejection but most do.

Why limit yourself? I know, we all have things that makes us feel insecure. Heck, I'm insecure about my hair loss but that doesn't mean that I'll only date women who are losing their hair too. To me it just doesn't make sense. I want a strong and self-confident woman in my life and I often found that this stupid virus will break even the strongest.

The only benefit that I found to be acceptable to join those types of sites is that people do not have to be afraid of transmitting the virus to their partner. But I do have an opinion on that topic too.

If you happen to meet a wonderful person who does not have HSV then you have the moral obligation to tell them about your condition. It then becomes their decision to continue to date you. I tell all my partners about my HSV, and provide them with as much information as possible. I encourage them to do their own research and I'll also help them find good websites with helpful information. But I also tell them that once they make their decision to continuing dating me, it then becomes their risk too and that they must assume the responsibility for taking that risk.

I know that this may sound harsh but really I'm very compassionate towards my partners. I take every possible step to protect them. And "knock on wood" I have never infected someone. I was married for 10 years and have recently been dating someone for the past 3 years and both are negative.

I'm very much aware of what my body is telling me. I know how my body feels before an outbreak. I know how much stress (both physical and mental) that my body can handle. I know what foods will trigger my outbreaks. I know how much sun that I can be exposed to. I share everything with my partners. If I feel a strange "tingle", I'll avoid having sex until I know if it was an outbreak or something else. BUT ultimately, it is also their responsibility.

I can proudly say that I have NEVER been rejected because of HSV. EVER. (I've even purposely tried to be rejected but more times than not it just increases the other person's attractiveness to me). I know, it sounds contrary but it has happened.

It's my opinion that the reason for my success is that I have developed a positive mindset towards herpes. I never expect to be rejected. Herpes is NEVER an issue with me therefore it is never an issue with people who I choose to tell. I've never had a planned "Herpes Talk". If the subject comes up or when I feel it's time to tell, I just make light of it and tell them. Believe me they'll take charge of the conversation. When I answer their questions, I answer them truthfully and confidently. I feel that I should be able to answer their every question. I'm always prepared.

I never make herpes out to be more than it is. Herpes does not define me but in a strange way it helped shape me into the person that I am today. If your partner senses that you're scared of this virus then can you blame them if they're scared too?

I'm sorry for the rant! You have my permission to be happy!

Ed

Terrific post Ed!! I feel the same way as you - it's just one more thing about me and certainly not even the worst thing about me

I did remove the link to the website you have in your signature. it's not one of our recommended sites that we allow to be posted here.


betsy

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ASHA Moderator

WOW!!!! lwgh2010 (Ed)

I LOVED YOUR POST!!!!!
gives me a good feeling...thank you!!