How to talk with a healthcare provider

For many women talking to a healthcare provider about your sexual health can be intimidating. You might feel embarrassed about the questions that you have; you might not want to admit to certain feelings or fears about your health. However, being able to talk to your healthcare provider about your sexual health is absolutely crucial.

If you can’t be honest about what’s happening with your body, you won’t be able to get adequate treatment. Your healthcare provider should be able to give you straightforward, nonjudgmental feedback and advice, but he or she has to start with the whole picture!

The first step is to choose a healthcare provider that you trust. He or she should be someone who is open-minded, honest, and very good at listening.

Communicating about your care

Your healthcare provider sometimes has to administer painful tests and examine parts of your body that are usually kept private. Even so, he or she should always treat you with respect and discuss procedures and processes with you before they happen.

If you feel uncomfortable with your healthcare provider for any reason, follow your instincts; don’t hesitate to ask friends or trusted adults for other recommendations. You might have to try more than one before you feel completely comfortable. But when you do, he or she will be an ally as you continue to learn more about how to remain in good health.

When thinking about how to discuss your concerns or sexual problems with your healthcare provider, remember that:

• he or she is there to help you
• the things you want to talk about are almost certainly not new. He or she will have dealt with many patients who come to the table with all kinds of questions or conditions.

Changes as you age

Just as your body changes throughout your lifetime, so will the concerns that you might present to your healthcare provider. During puberty, you might be worried about the sudden changes you’re experiencing. As you mature, you might want to address problems like pain during sex or changes in your sexual desire.

To get some ideas about the types of things you may want to talk with your provider about, check out the age-specific sections of the left hand menu.

What if you don't have a regular healthcare provider?

Not everyone has a regular healthcare provider. Where do you begin trying to find one? You can start by asking family, friends, or co-workers for referrals. If you have health insurance, your insurance company should offer a list of providers as well. The links below offer another resource, allowing you to search for appropriate providers and health centers in your area:

Find a Health Center (from the U.S. Health Resources Services Administration)
Search federally-funded health centers that provide care even if you have no health insurance. You pay what you can afford, based on your income.

MedlinePlus Directories
MedlinePlus (a service of the National Library of Medicine and the National Institutes of Health) provides links to directories to help you find health professionals, services and facilities.

Planned Parenthood
Find a Planned Parenthood clinic near you.