Sexual Health: Your safer sex toolbox

Your safer sex toolbox

Once you have decided on your own "safer sex" boundaries, you will need to gather the tools you will need to stick to your decisions. Some of the most common "tools" are included below:

Lubricant

A good lubricant (lube) is one of the most important tools in your sexual toolkit. Lube reduces friction which can cause tiny tears in the skin, which make it more likely for the person to get an infection if his/her partner has one. Lube can also make sex feel better, whether having intercourse, masturbating, having oral sex, or using sex toys.

In addition, condoms work better and are less likely to tear when you use lube. Lube can also make oral sex with a barrier more enjoyable for the female receiving it.

Women self-lubricate their vaginas when they are turned on, but many factors may reduce lubrication: alcohol or other drugs (including hormonal birth control, stimulants, antihistamines, antidepressants, chemotherapy), monthly hormonal changes, peri-menopause, menopause, breastfeeding, a history of sexual assault, and other psychological and physical factors. Women may want extra lubrication on the vulva and clitoris during sex, as lubrication from the vagina often does not reach these external areas.

The anus does not self-lubricate, and you always need to use a lubricant to prevent the very fragile skin of the anus from tearing during anal play or intercourse. Most people like an anal lubricant thicker than those used for vaginal sex.

NOTE: Avoid any lubricant with lidocaine or benzocaine, which dull the body's natural defense (pain), which lets you know when something is wrong, including tearing of the skin.

Below are types of lubricants you might choose, with advanatges and disadvantages of each (click on any one to expand):

Saliva

Advantages:

Free
Accessible

Disadvantages

Not as slippery as others
May spread infection if the saliva of an infected person is used as the lubricant
Dries up more quickly than others

Mineral oil/petroleum-based lubricants(i.e. Vaseline, baby oil)

Advantages

Great for external male masturbation
Inexpensive and accessible

Disadvantages

NOT for vaginal use
NOT for use with latex condoms or toys
Stains fabric

Natural/plant-based oils(i.e. coconut, grapeseed, apricot, jojoba, olive oils; Crisco)

Advantages

Great for massage
All-natural
Safe to eat
Moisturizing--good for dry skin
Inexpensive and accessible
Safe for vaginal and anal use
Absorbed into the skin

Disadvantages

NOT for use with latex condoms or toys
Stains fabric
Can go rancid

Water-based lubricants

Advantages

Doesn't stain fabric
Latex-friendly
Some come flavored for oral sex
Safe for vaginal and anal use

Disadvantages

Some ingredients may be irritating for sensitive skin (glycol, parabens, glycerin, flavorings, nonoxodyl-9).
Dries out quickly (Use saliva or water to reconstitute.)

Silicone lubes(i.e. Cyclpentasiloxane, Dimethicone, Dimethiconaol)

Advantages

Latex-friendly
Stays slick in water (i.e. hot tubs)
Stays slippery longer than others
Safe for vaginal and anal use

Disadvantages

Expensive
Stains sheets
NOT to be used with silicone or cyber skin toys
Must be washed off with soap and water
May make surfaces such as floors and showers slippery

Condoms

Currently, condoms are the only widely available, proven method for reducing transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) during intercourse. ASHA supports the promotion and use of condoms to limit the spread of sexually transmitted infections and their harmful consequences. Condoms are effective when people use them correctly and consistently.

Make sure to use a lubricant if using condoms, which makes them both more enjoyable and less likely to break. Click below to see condom options:

Latex male condom

Advantages

Inexpensive
Accessible, the most common type of condom
Available in a variety of colors, textures, thicknesses, and sizes
Malleable and stretchy

Disadvantages

Can NOT be used with oils or oil-based lubes
Will degrade in high heat (wallet, glove compartment)

Polyurethane (non-latex) male condom

Advantages

Good for those with a latex sensitivity/allergy
Thin, so transmits warmth well
Safe with oil-based lubes

Disadvantages

Does not conform as tightly to a penis, so it may slip off more easily
Not as stretchy as latex, so it may break more easily and may fit a limited range of penis sizes

Polyisoprene (non-latex) male condom

Advantages

Good for those with a latex sensitivity
Malleable and stretchy like latex

Disadvantages

Can NOT be used with oil-based lubes
Will degrade (break down) in high heat (wallet, glove compartment)

Lambskin (non-latex) male condom

Advantages

Feels "natural"
Good for those with a latex sensitivity (but do not protect against STIs/STDs!)

Disadvantages

DOES NOT PROTECT AGAINST STIs/STDs, only pregnancy
Looser fit than latex

Female Condom (made of polyurethane, nitrile, or latex)

Advantages

Outer ring covers a larger surface area, protects more of a womanâ€™s mucous membrane
Good for those with latex sensitivity if made of polyurethane or nitrile.
A man does not have to pull out as soon as he ejaculates, as he would with male condoms.
Wearer can be in control
Can insert condom up to eight hours before sex

Disadvantages

Some say the outer ring irritates the clitoris and vulva
Expensive
Difficult to find
Cannot be used at the same time as a male condom
Slippage is common
May be uncomfortable for the receiver of anal sex

Male condom options include not just the type of material, but size as well. When it comes to condoms, size does matter. Learn more about condom sizing.

Barriers for oral sex

Dental dams (latex)

Advantages

Thicker than plastic wrap, less likely to tear

Disadvantages

Cannot be used with oil or oil-based lubes
Latex will degrade in high heat (wallet, glove compartment)
May be difficult to find
Limited range of sizes

Plastic Wrap (a.k.a. cling wrap), non-latex(i.e. Saran Wrap)Use a non-microwavable type.

Advantages

Easily accessible
Inexpensive
Can have exactly the size you want and need
Good for those with latex sensitivity or allergy

Disadvantages

Thinner than dental dams so may tear more easily

Sex toys

Sharing sex toys (like vibrators, for example) can be risky if they have vaginal fluids, blood, or feces on them. Sharing sex toys without cleaning them or using a condom can potentially expose a person to STIs.

The safest practice is not to share sex toys. If sex toys are shared, a condom should be used. With toys that can be inserted into the vagina or anus, a person may put a condom onto the toy. For shared toys in which the penis is inserted, a condom may be worn. It is important to change the condom before another person uses the toy so that any body fluids or infectious organisms on the sex toy are not passed on to the partner.

When cleaning sex toys, look to see what the manufacturer's instructions recommend. Some may be best cleaned with soap and water, while certain types of may be made from materials, such as silicone, that are dishwasher safe.